对自己有帮助、有意义
形成假X喜欢、假X「想要」
而自以为不是受人影响
颠簸晃摇，原来都是自找？
Maymyturbulenttimespasssooner
Andallthevotilescheduleofmytimesspendingondealingwithmyayaboutbeingafraidoflosingsomething
EventhoughI''''''''mnotassertiveaboutwhatisthe''''''''something''''''''
EventhoughIdon''''''''tknow,I''''''''mntoknoouldpossiblyhappen,whatIwouldfeel,whatIshouldfeelinthenearfutureifIreallylose''''''''something''''''''
Ijustwanttocatethingwhosemeaningorworthofhavingitisobscureandvagueforme
Idon''''''''tknowtheultimate''''''''why''''''''Ihavetoreachthese
ButIjustsomehowpossesstheextremelystrongeageranddesiretogetwhateverI,atthemoment,wahoughitisjustsometinylittletrifles
ReallywhenItrulygetthat,orclimbtothestatethatI''''''''want''''''''
Idon''''''''tfeenythingexpectforthemomentaryhappinessoffinallygetit
Idon''''''''tknowwhatthegoalis,orwhatIamgoingtodo
PerhapsIdidn''''''''tevenhaveagoalinmindstartingthisgame,the''''''''dream''''''''chasinggame
Theultimatewanting?
StillIoresistonchasingsomethingthatIdon''''''''twant,thatIthinkitasmydream
Whyfrontihmystateofmind,whatIreallywantandwhatI''''''''mdhtnowarefilledwithdifficulty?
IassumeIjustdon''''''''tdaretothink,totrulyleanihefieldwheremymentality,myinnate,inwarddesirelies
"WhydoIwanttoachievethis?
Whatistheimaginativeultimate,endingsarioorstatethatIpredicttohappenorwant?
OrhaveIevenimagihese?DoIhavegoals?
ThenwhyamIdoingthesewithastrongwillnessandeagerness?
Ireallydon''''''''tgetmymind
OrmaybeI,deeplyinsideofmyheart,don''''''''twanttouanditatall
realisticporization
We,inthisrealisticworld,tiruggletofindhappinessinnatelyinourhearts
Andkeepfailingchasingdreamsofwhatweactually
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